On the Enneagram of personality I am a 4 with a five wing. Fours with five wings are introspective, moody, analytical, melodramatic, melancholic, sensitive, romantic, artistic, addictive, searching … tend to feel as if something is always missing, oscillate between feeling defective at a core level and feeling distinctly special and unique even in a superior way and sometimes for identical reasons as they felt defective.
Fours struggle with the transition from the really deep connections we are capable of (and crave) back to “ordinary” practical communication “ok, but what do you want to eat?” and even worse to disconnecting, ie: having to walk away or say goodbye after a connection. I feel this difficulty especially around the eyes. This difficulty with emotional transitions I think is one of the factors that can lead to fours getting into a pattern of being either fully on or fully off in connecting, our eyes functioning as a major component of our on/off switch.
When I started reading descriptions of a Four it was like getting punched in the stomach. I couldn’t believe how accurate it was for me. I felt embarrassed actually. Since then I’ve read just about every Enneagram of personality book/article I could find and feel like I have learned a lot about myself which in turn has helped me to grow.
Taking one of these online test is not the best way of discovering your number or getting the most from the personality Enneagram. The best way is to get a good personality Enneagram book, read through all of the type descriptions until one of them freaks you out with how much it nails your hidden agendas.
2 comments ↓
There is a saying in the Enneagram community..”if you read about your point and do not want to vomit, it is not your point”..so your reactions to being a four are right on…hang in there… the Enneagram is the coolest…I am a fanatic..it is part of me and my daily life..enjoy it…caw
Hey dude, I really enjoyed reading your blog, because I relate to everything you’re saying…what you said about finding it difficult to leave after having forged a connection is something that I’ve been realizing about myself over the past few months…among tons of other things; I just noticed that you mentioned that specifically…and it’s weird, because I feel a need to be an individual, and at the same time whenever I find out about something that is similar between myself and another person (something that, it would seem, threatens my individuality), I experience such a profound pleasure that I can’t describe it accurately in words…it feels like coming home, as cliche as that sounds…it’s somewhat accurate. And I’m an observant orthodox jew, and also a believer in the idea that (as it’s phrased by some jewish person somewhere, I believe) “we are masters over our hearts, masters over our minds,” and so I’m becoming very aware of my inclinations, because of the way I have been since birth, and because of my specific life experiences; and I’m trying to make decisions about how to be that are indepenant of my natural inclinations, and my inclinations as a result of my life experience…and I’m never sure, when people ask me to describe myself, whether I should describe how I’m inclined to be, or how I choose to be; which is more indicitive of who I am? I think the latter, but in terms of figuring out my enneagram, and my personality and all of that, I suppose the former is more indicative, and important.
In any case, if you feel so inclined, although I am a stranger, feel free to send me an email, because, like perhaps you yourself, I love to make connections, even and sometimes especially with strangers (I love to tell people to have a good day, when I just see them in like, the bank, or whereever we happen to be…walking on the street, wherever)…I guess this may look and sound kind of weird, but whatever; you always have the option of ignoring this completely lol; I appreciate having read your blog, and I appreciate having the opportunity to share myself. Be well.
-Yered
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