The ebb and flow of solo cultivation

My spiritual life over the past decade has been an ebb and flow back and forth from more overtly “magickal” practices to the more “mystical” and I think the ideal is to find a balance that is personal. But especially without the direct influence of a teacher it’s hard to know when I am working a different angle because I am just bored and lazy or wether my Self is naturally striving for a needed equilibrium.